The Instagrammers By The Lagoon Sense A Disturbance
De Wikifliping
Did you fear the dark when you were a child? The questions he asks all his guests are probing, stripping them back to bare emotions. What work stresses are you going through? Do you cry easily?
How has grief affected you?
And at the end of languorous afternoons involving acupuncture and reflexology, where pressure is applied to various parts of the foot that correspond to different body parts, guests head to the changing room for eye, mouth and nasal washes (pouring the contents of a small watering can into one nostril and, somewhat bizarrely, letting it trickle out of the other).
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It's followed by an amazing ayurvedic massage with two therapists slathering you with oil, leaving you feeling like a chicken that has been buttered for the oven. Finally, warm poultices filled with herbs are applied to ease back and neck tension.
Within hours I've been seen by three doctors, starting with Dr Issac Mathai, who founded the retreat in 2002. Just by scrutinising me and taking my pulse, he concludes that I'm breathing at only 60 per cent capacity, that there's a blockage in my liver, transportation in greece cost something is not quite right with my kidneys and I have some neurological issues.
A pouter's paradise, but ironically given the hotel's name, I find it a bit dark and dingy - the only natural light comes from a small window in one corner (and the view is of a crumbling building next door) and creating a relaxing glow artificially is tricky.
Meanwhile, Transport In Greece fun-loving Beatrice was snapped leaving yet another private members' club in Mayfair the night prior, as the ninth Transport In Greece line to the throne clung onto the lapels of her black coat and kept her head down while leaving Annabel's.
The other contented-looking guests, lounging on loungers and lolling in cabanas, are busying themselves with selfies and soaking up the August rays, which are pushing the mercury to the late-30s Celsius.
We parents, meanwhile, are taking the window this unannounced babysitting shift has afforded us to soak in the view, taxi from Volos port to acropolis which is stupendous - an almost-360-degree panorama of Athens, including the famed Acropolis, which lies a couple of miles away.
During her previous trip, Camilla was accompanied by the then Prince Charles, and stayed in the same suite as mine. Spacious and comfortable, with a shower in the peaceful garden, it's not opulent in a five-star or even a regal way.
Although it has a four-poster with floaty curtains, an enormous bathroom with a hydrotherapy bath and a large sitting room, it feels relatively simple, decorated with traditional Indian heavy-wood furniture.
Throw in a circular bar, a couple of hot tubs and the option to order light bites, and the rooftop can stake a claim - alongside the price - to being one of the major Volos guided tour lures of this hip 220-room property, the fourth hotel by Tel Aviv-born hospitality group Brown Hotels to open in the Greek capital.
That it's pretty unique can be seen from a glance at the long list of celebrities who have passed through the gates, including Dame Emma Thompson, Sting, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and, at the end of last month, Queen Consort Camilla, on her seventh visit. Soukya combines authentic ayurveda - the ancient Indian medical system - with homeopathy and complementary therapies to tackle everything from stress and weight management to arthritis and rare diseases in one holistic package.
Still, we sleep well on the sumptuous king-sized bed and in the fresh light of day appreciate the hotel's efforts to inject some stylish avian-related quirk into the interior design, typified by the bare lightbulb by the bed held in the beak of a wall-mounted bird sculpture, the golden egg chairs in the foyer and the banquettes housed in birdcage-style frames in the dining room.
There's no gym (they discourage too much activity as it interferes with the treatments) but there is a pleasant trail to amble round, past sandalwood trees, grazing farm animals and through a bamboo grove.
Those who love their own reflection will no doubt be bewitched by the dark reflective surfaces that abound - the walls behind and in front of the bed are mirrored, along with the black door and dividing wall for the ensuite.
We vow to rise early and reach the ancient site before the midday sun and the crowds and fail miserably, instead hoping on a subway train at around 11.30am and Tailor Made Tour greece taxi fare to airport ascending the slopes to the pillared Parthenon and the other glorious monuments and sanctuaries in the former city - built in the 5th century BC - amid heaving crowds and in blowtorch heat.
