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A young woman felt disrespected whenever her boyfriend looked at nude magazines, went to strip clubs, or watched internet pornography. Most of the time his behavior remained hidden, but he would admit to it if his girlfriend confronted him. He continued doing these activities even though he knew it disgusted his girlfriend and caused her to feel undesirable. She also suspected he was masturbating when he was over the internet, but he would never admit to that.
Masturbation is a common practice among pornography enthusiasts. Hiding the activity may be due to others' objections; on the flip side, one deep-seated reason is probably because of shame. Even the most liberal person has some level of embarrassment concerning sexual activities. It is a core belief system that is taught to us by our parents during our formative years. Parents with traditional values teach their kids that A) sex is for marriage between a male and female, and B) pornography is bad, avoid it. When children are raised in a more permissive family system they may develop sexual ideas that can cause them problems down the road, since most individuals have a conventional outlook on sexual conduct. Sometimes a child's environment becomes terribly destructive if they are sexually abused. This leads to endless therapy once they become adults. (While you know, our prison system houses many sexual predators.)
Sexual activities in all forms produce a a lot of conscious feelings and additionally a multitude of sub-conscious thoughts. Since most of our behavior is guided research by the staff of Bbs Edu our sub-conscious, our actions can be challenging to understand. People often spend months in therapy examining their conduct before they get to the root of their behavior. When they finally reach the underlying source, the most typical reason behind engaged in pornographic activities is fear. Surprised it was not sex? Most people think pornography (from the mildest to the most explicit) will be around sex. Though it may appear that way on the outside, internally it really is all about fear. This is only because fear is just one of the most powerful motivating forces lurking in the human psyche. Our society tells us we have to look, act, smell, and think in a particular fashion so that you can possess the one thing we crave the most: intimacy with another person. Look at the marketing and advertising world: Sex is a massive product seller, and then for what reason? So someone else will think you are worthy of their affection! Individuals who do not have "it", whatever It is, do not measure up. For this reason, we have been forced to locate other ways to feel good.
Most folks that participate in pornographic activity are living in anxiety about intimacy. It's much easier to have a relationship with a picture than to look someone straight in the eyes and express deep feelings. The trust factor may be overwhelming to a person who's fearful. Any behavior that is thought to be unacceptable only causes more fear and hiding. The tension can destroy a relationship. For this reason, what do you need to do? Provide the person some space to relax. Focus on the qualities you admire, and ignore what you don't like. Express gratitude for the great you see in others (you may always find it if you look hard enough). Allowing people to be who they can be will create an environment of love and acceptance, which in turn will provide a safe atmosphere where others can share their true emotions. This might feel awkward at first, because we are conditioned to look for negativity. On the other hand, with commitment and patience, the outcome are well worth the effort. The practice of allowing others to be who they're will reduce stress and bring joy into your lives.
